Image from The Guardian

I spend the weekend trying to land after chaos in my personal life. A rocky chapter in just another quester’s personal journey. Monday morning, I turn on my computer. Write some personal stuff. Do a bit of self-centred processing. Then I connect to the internet. Peer out from my own tangled web and try to catch a glimpse at the world.


50 dead.

50 queers, the great majority Latinx, shot as they danced and felt free in what they believed was a place of safety, a place they created for themselves, because the world is not a safe place for queers and we work hard to create those safe spaces and then they are invaded and we learn yet again that there is no safe space, no place to hide from homophobia and transphobia and hatred, that homophobia and transphobia kill, still, that marriage equality means nothing because 50 queers have had their lives taken because somebody hated them for being who they were, for loving themselves.

I read more and more about the story, seeking answers, perspectives I can hold on to, something, anything to help me figure out how to grieve, how much of this grief is mine, how it is appropriate for me to feel, what I should do, what I should say, where this pain is coming from, how I can help, how I can pour love into a world full of pain and grief, how I can find additional reserves of love at such a time.

If you’re still flailing, here are some articles I’ve personally found helpful.

Shooting at Orlando Gay Nightclub Leaves 50 Dead | Autostraddle’s Yvonne Marquez explains the situation succinctly.

DONATE | Equality Florida are helping to raise funds via the National Compassion Fund, which sends money directly to those affected by the shooting.

After the Orlando Shooting: Finding hope and healing as a gay Latino

Rabia Chaudhry of Split the Moon reflects on the complex intersections of Islamophobia, homophobia and gun control at the heart of this tragedy.

Like many of the mass shooters this country has come to endure and tolerate (because really we are tolerating this crap), Mateen was an angry, unstable, sick man. Abusiveracist, conflicted over his sexuality. He wasn’t violent because he was Muslim or because he was gay. He was violent because he was deeply disturbed and he did damage because he was able to get guns easily.

To My Son After Pulse: The Only Grief I Feel Is For the World | Wise and loving words.

prayers for orlando and more love | from Miyuki Baker

Chosen Family Open Thread and Safe Space for Healing | The queer community is here for you.

love spell for our grieving queer hearts | Asali casts herbs for personal and global love and healing. I am inspired and encouraged to create a ritual of my own to build up reserves of love for the Pulse victims, for their families, for my queer family, for the whole world, for myself.

Love first. Love always. With love and solidarity with my queer family.

If you’ve been affected by the Pulse shooting and have resources to share, please feel free to add them in the comments below.

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