A few weeks ago there was a fairly large coyote sunning in my backyard in broad daylight. I’ve seen small and large groups of them before, but it was belly-up, vulnerable, alone and at a strange time of day. They are usually more cautious, less relaxed. It was a little peculiar to see.
Little Red Tarot was kind of peculiar as far as sites go.
Despite pop culture’s traditional (and let’s be honest, cookie-cutter) notions of metaphysics, witchcraft, and tarot, LRT’s vulnerability, boldness, and alternative-ness went against the grain.
It’s a site that was as queer as we are. And that’s why we’re going to miss it.
That’s why we take the time to say our formal (and informal) goodbyes. That’s why we think about what we’ll do with the time we used to spend here. We value places to be ourselves together. To spread out, belly up under the sun and just be, however dangerous or unlikely the act.
When I sat down and thought about writing the final piece for this site, I paused. I procrastinated. I reached out to others experiencing the same feelings. I processed. I decided to end the way I began, pulling cards face up and inviting you to do the same.
If I were to walk through my time on this site, it would begin with the five of cups and my piece about mental Illness and entrepreneurship.
In this piece, I share thoughts about what it’s like to birth a business when you manage anxiety or other mood issues. While writing it, I did one of my first face up spreads to calm my nerves and really sit with my feelings.
I chose the five of cups in that spread to represent shame. Sometimes this card is associated with trauma or loss and sometimes, in the case of mental issues or chronic illness, that sense of loss can by cyclical or repetitive. Some challenges are ongoing. And sometimes this means feelings of shame.
I’ve always valued that, at this site, folks are as anxious, chronically ill, weird, and human as I am. It’s affirming to know that people recognize and relate to us. Or that they want to.
The next piece I wrote here explored further the idea of “weird community”.
How many of us have gone to an event looking for a place to belong? How many of us then get to feel at home with strangers? There are so many of us that for whatever reason struggle to find that community and hang out on the fringes of that ecstatic circle of friends. And there, on those fringes, if we’re lucky, we meet those like us.
I pulled the three of cups in the original post to articulate this feeling of bonding on the outer borders. I pull the Sun to demonstrate the progression of this feeling when the fringe becomes warm and welcoming safe-haven.
The next piece I wrote featured the Tower and discussed how we deal with difficult cards. The scary tarot cards are a metaphor for how we handle intense experiences of all kinds, breakups, transformation, significant life events. A tarot community, like a tarot practice or tarot card, can be the support we lean into to weather life’s storms.
This is especially true when we find community members that weather similar storms, when we see our likeness represented in the art we consume when leaders in our communities model compassion, acceptance, and inclusion. We’re grateful when we don’t have to go it alone.
I’ve loved writing here.
This community’s feedback, perspective, and interest in doing all-kinds-of-better. This site is a home among strangers. It’s the been the shelter that lots of folks seek at “Tower” moments, at difficult times.
I pulled the seven of wands here for that feeling when we are challenged to take our agency back and alert ourselves. When we are tasked to rise to a challenge, like when we need to weather those storms…
I did some thinking about what might feel unfinished to me when I knew that this space would shut down and I had one thing jump out as a-thing-I-must-try:
It won’t be the first community card pull, of course. Beth has posted them in the past. I thought it might be interesting to do a community Face Up pull. The first round robin/collaborative style blog post I’ve seen is the Blog Hop. This style of posting would, eventually, inspire the monthly collaborative tarotscopes at my site.
I love digital circles.
Facilitative circles have been some of the most healing spaces I’ve been in. Especially when facilitators of said circle/spaces are informed by social justice reform, explicit (and enthusiastic) consent, or trauma.
If we were all in the same room, we’d start a pull like this with agreements about what makes safer spaces. Together, we’d build our community guidelines for the meeting. We’d tell each other what inspires us to feel held and what we value during our time together.
Building on that foundation, we might talk about what little red tarot has meant to us, what we’re grateful for, and what we’ll miss. I won’t be in the room with you. But if you like the idea of a space like this, I invite you to check out this post and add your card pull.
Thank you, Beth, and this community, for making my time on the net queerer, braver, and more alternative than I could have hoped for.
More from Siobhan:
Cards shown in the feature image: Dust II Onyx Tarot by Courtney Alexander, The Voyager Tarot, Wanless, Fair Winds Press 2017, The Mesquite Tarot 2017, Tarot de St Croix © 2013 Lisa de St Croix, Margarete Petersen Tarot AGM Urania 2014
Siobhan (she/they) is a NYC-born writer, spiritual ally, and #radicaltarot reader living in central Texas. Her facilitative reading style is the blended result of over a decade of study of tarot, nonviolent communication, shamanic ritual, sacred sexuality, and alternative relationship. She geeks all those things in her newsletter and blog. She is also the creator of “The ‘Scopes,” the first-ever monthly collaborative tarotscopes which have featured over 40 professional tarot readers in the last three years.