Three of Swords: Power, pain, & purpose


It’s been a three of swords kind of season.

All summer, as I shuffled and cast, there it was – boldly face up – when I flipped my daily draw on a park bench; lurking at the bottom of the deck during a reading; darting through cyberspace in an email PDF. It’s a card for pains both collective and personal, a card for news cycles that only get shittier, a card for the hundred things you hoped would never happen again.

For me this summer, the three of swords was also a card of power. It came to me with sympathy, with urging, with reproach. This is power, it said stubbornly, this is your power.

When I throw cards for people brand new to tarot, I always do a hasty reassurance if the Waite-Smith image comes up, the classic impaled cartoon heart: “It’s about heartache, right? But, like, the kind that makes you stronger. Don’t be scared by the stabby thundercloud thing, it’s a positive stabby thundercloud. Really.”

I realized this is how I’ve been reading the card for myself, as well.

That same quick jump to the potential happy ending, swords beaten into ploughshares of transpersonal development. I haven’t actually been doing the work. And the three of swords insists that when our hearts are in pain, the only way to really make something out of it is to do the fucking work.

This summer many of us have struggled to salvage purpose out of tragedy, and to figure out how and what to fight. We’re trying to find the best ways to keep living in a world filled, as always, with injustice and pain. It’s an especially potent theme for me right now. This time last year, I was in treatment for a potentially fatal cancer. Now I’m in remission, asking myself that well-worn yet vital survivor’s question – what next? Being alive is a thing filled with joy, but also with oppression and destruction, with dark trajectories we want to help shift.

Back in the spring, I came across the term “despair work.” It’s an idea originally developed by environmental activist Joanna Macy, and it’s deceptively simple: when we numb ourselves to our own despair for the world, we cut ourselves off from our creativity as well. We bypass the emotional experiences that can unite us with like-minded others, and we stunt our ability to imagine new ways of combating what threatens to destroy us. Slowly, persistently, the three of swords is showing me how to do the work.

In the Wildwood tarot, this card is renamed the three of arrows.

The image may lack thunderclouds but it’s no less stabby; in this version the heart is a wooden target not only pierced and literally bleeding, but also inexplicably on fire (because three arrows weren’t ominous enough).

And yet, when you look closer, the wood isn’t blackened or consumed by the flames. There it hangs on its tree, a tree growing up out of rocky ground. Maybe the bleeding heart is what waters the roots – which is a little gross, but also beautiful, in a macabre and stabby sort of way.

If we want to make our pain a source of growth and power, we have to let it fully hit its target. The arrows, with enough force to really wound you, are also compass points to your half-formed hopes. They tell you what matters, they mark out the common ground of empathy. If you follow those compass points to their ends, you’ll find the fuel that keeps your heart hot and the wellspring that keeps it from burning away.


Because here’s the real power of pain: we wouldn’t feel it if we weren’t alive, if we weren’t hoping, if we didn’t love the world and the people in it. Without pain we’d have no purpose. When we’re in pain, our hearts are saying we’re not content to just survive. We want more.

It has been, in many ways, a shitty season. But for those of us who are alive, who are prickled with arrows and pumping with blood, this kind of season can set us aflame. If we let it.

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About the author

Mary Lanham writes for love, not money, which is probably why she still has a day job. Fifteen years ago, she bought a tarot deck during a slumber party excursion to the mall. Turns out the tarot doesn’t have much to say about algebra tests, but it’s great for pretty much everything else. She lives in the Midwestern US but grew up in the South; her accent is usually set to stealth mode. You can find more of her words at

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  1. Beth says:

    Wow, Mary – thank you so much for sharing this. It’s a card so many of us struggle with, your perspectives really bring it home, the importance of pain, the importance of *feeling* pain and working with it.

    • Mary L says:

      I’m glad it resonated! I’ve found that even when I think I’ve got a good, deep grip on those more “negative” cards, periodically I discover I’ve slid into trying to make the medicine easier to swallow. There’s no point in suffering needlessly, or over minor things, but on the other hand, sometimes you just have to embrace the suck, so to speak.

  2. I’ve been shifting my conception of swords/air away from thoughts/ideas and more towards attitudes/perspective. I’ve had this card pop up in certain places asking, “Is your attitude towards this situation, which you’re perceiving as suffering, serving you?” which seems like an indirect form of, “There’s power here you’re not claiming!”

    Anyway, I loved this! Especially your interpretation of the Wildwood version of this card – which is likely due to my Scorpio Rising self loving the “gross, but also beautiful, in a macabre and stabby sort of way” haha.

    • Mary L says:

      Thanks! I sort of struggled with the Wildwood image when I first got the deck, because the keyword at the bottom felt a bit off to me, but once I got over that I realized it’s a pretty cool representation. Gotta have some good blood and guts with one’s tarot.

  3. Beautifully written, and I love readers who don’t shy or gloss over the negative in the tarot. Yes, our fate is in our hands, yes trials means lessons learned, bla bla bla. But sometimes things are really crappy for awhile and we have to find a way to live in that. Thank you for reminding us of this and sharing in your journey.

    • Mary L says:

      Thanks for the comment! Yeah, sometimes I go through phases when the main benefit of my tarot practice is that it creates space for more “negative” narratives. We get so much pressure everywhere else to put a constant positive spin on the world, and, you know… it’s okay if things don’t always spin that way.

  4. The Three of Swords has been a strange love of mine for years, after doing some pain healing work with it. Adored your beautifully written exploration, another perspective on the strength this card offers through the heart ache.

  5. Superior Swords says:

    Nice these three swords are very strange. I really appreciate your work. You have shared very well. It’s really great. Keep posting and keep sharing like this.

    sword knife

  6. Nimi says:

    Hi, we have a manager at work whose style is more like a headmistress/prison officer as opposed to a real manager that interacts with others working as a team.
    She’s wrong on many levels from her attitude and the way she generally assumes what a manager does.
    I asked in tarot what will be the outcome of this woman within the workplace and if her role will be questioned. I pulled the 10 of swords for her outcome within this job and then pulled the three of swords if she will be questioned by authority.
    Wound u say her days as a manager is soon up and she will be bitter about how she’ll be questioned. A bruised ego perhaps?

    • Mary L says:

      Hi Nimi! I gotta admit, I don’t usually do tarot readings that predict specific outcomes for a third party, so I may not be the best reader to answer you. My style is more about examining the situation and deciding what possibilities are open for me or for the person I’m reading for. I’d say that the Swords cards definitely show there are a lot of hostilities in your work situation, probably on all sides, and that those tensions will likely be coming out in difficult ways before they get resolved. I’d focus on doing what you can to make sure you’re well-placed to weather the drama – including any self-care you can do outside of work to help deal with the stress.

      Hope this helps!

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