I’m ready to return to this blog. In fact, I was ready ages ago, but had this idea that coming back to something that had previously been such a regular ‘touch base’ for me needed to be in the context of some groundbreaking revelations in terms of my emotional life, or the government/anti government, or the world in general.
So I wrote a bunch of draft posts about all such things. And none of them got published.
So I’ll ease myself back into this wee online tarot journal with something simple. A daily draw, a card of the day. And I won’t pretend I haven’t just rolled in from the pub 🙂
And today, the 2nd of June it’s… the Nine of Swords. From my relatively-new Mary-el Tarot, by Marie White.
Yes drawn at random. Not what I want to see. But Mary-el has a beautiful way of fucking with my head. No heavy swords bearing down on me in the night, no haunting nightmares, no prolonged distress. This is something quite different.
The Nine of Swords, from the Mary-el Tarot by Marie White
At the very highest point of this card is a smile. A golden, wing-headed goddess, smiling down, cheekbones glowing, on the city below.
It is the highest, most exalted state of an intentional human being. It is also the dissolution of the same as you walk out of the world of time and separateness and into Eternity where all is one. The two pillars, duality, that allowed your creation now are a guide back to that place of your source. This is a triumph, it is spiritual gold, it is immortality.
Marie White, 2012
Traditionally, I think of the Nine of Swords as being a very stuck, very ‘trapped’ kind of card. But White’s interpretation is a total reversal of this thinking. It’s all about movement, about transition. It’s like the mundane version of Death or The Tower, encouraging us to embrace that scary process of shedding one skin and revealing or forming the next.
White talks about the two pillars on this card as such opposing forces as yin and yang, active and passive, left and right. And she describes that this card is about moving from one towards the other. One is a beaming white lighthouse on on a safe, craggy rock. The other is a dark and demonic tower, dteadfast against crashing waves. What’s so wonderful about this card is that White does not suggest which towers we might be moving from and to. The transition itself is the important part.
It does not matter if I am moving from a place of safety and comfort into one of risk and excitement…or if I am moving from action and drama to quiet sanctity.
Because whilst it’s a card of transition (as is much of the tarot), it’s also a card of realisation. The crashing waves spray the lighthouse rock with drops of water, the beam from the lighthouse lamp shines on the peak of the black tower. I realise that I have all of this within me and can move between these different energies as I need to, just like the black bird which soars above them on the card.
Right now, I need both. It’s pretty fair to say I’ve been in a period of major transition over the past few months…physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically. I feel myself week on week moving back and forth between these two towers, not quite ready to decide yet if I’m entering a full-on or a peaceful part of my life. Summer is chaotic, meaningful, full of friends and moments. I can decide later where I’m going to rest.
I’m a 30-something writer, artist, tarot reader, and perpetual explorer of the space between thought, feeling, and action.
I believe that spirituality and ritual are for everybody. I’m about the journey, in all of its messy, non-linear, chaotic iterations. I am excited by anticapitalist business and living with my whole entire self present. I use tarot cards to bring forth hidden truth, and ritual to affirm my commitment, over and over, to my ever-shifting path.