November Sunday Spread: Taking up space

Hello darling, beautiful, magic, alternative tarot community!

I can’t express how much sharing this space here has soothed my soul. When I first envisioned Sunday Spread, it evoked not just different formats to draw wisdom from the cards but the idea of a huge banquet spread of self-care to be shared amongst friends, a potluck gathering of healing and conversation. Perfect in its simplicity and irreplaceable in its purpose.

As we approach the holiday season, I’m aware that while this time of year should be just that, it isn’t for a lot of us. Holidays off – when we’re lucky enough to get them – are scheduled with little space for diversity at best and around tragedies that should be remembrances rather than celebrations at worst. The foundations are shaky and the resulting dynamics that occur are subsequently (dys)functional.

I can’t even try to guess at the many obligations, responsibilities, anxieties, and also excitement and anticipation that you may be balancing as we head into these next few months, but I can encourage you to move into them with you grounded at center. I can advocate for you to think about what each holiday means, what it means to you, what you need from the fanfare around them, and what you might ask and give to those around you. I can invite you to practice unpacking what it means to take up a little space.

We talked about a lot of boundaries last month for National Coming Out – the trick with boundaries, they require you to take up space.

That’s something that a lot of us queer folks, people of color, female socialized humans, femme-identified beings, fire tenders, natural nurturers, magic makers, wayward wanderers, and all of our other family along the margins don’t always have a whole lot of practice in. So this month as we head into the beautiful (and daunting) holiday onslaught, I thought we could talk about how to do that with one another through this practice of tarot that brings us all together.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Starfish Spread

Why the starfish shape, you might ask?

Well, I was listening to a triumphant retelling of a highly productive person’s very full week and weekend of commitments. They recounted the fullness of their schedule and the multiple things they had to balance – head, body, and heart – to make it through. By the end they had to “starfish flop” on their bed, when they’d normally be stuck thinking about what else they had to do. They just let themselves flop and felt really good about it.

And that’s what I wanted for this month’s spread! That feeling of contentment when we’ve successfully navigated through those wild and unruly waters called holiday get-togethers.

Okay, what I really wanted was to wave my magic wand across the internet and give everyone a couple months off to just rest and restore, but seeing as I’m still a novice magic and mischief maker, I didn’t think I was quite up to it. I’ll check in with the rest of the much more experienced Little Red Tarot Team and see if one of them might be able to make that happen. 😉

Short of that, I thought I could offer a bit of ‘navigation support’ – as that’s more in my wheelhouse. I tell clients often that I’ll never be more of an expert in their lives than they are but that I’ve been helping facilitate exploration for a while now. I promise that I’ll use everything I have to help smooth the journey where I can, and notice and name the speedbumps where I can’t.

In the end, The Starfish Spread is what I came up with. It offers some reminders for what to pay attention to and where we hold power. It also honors places of being, places of doing, and attempts to clarify the balance between where to take and offer space. Sometimes naming and clarifying can be the simplest and easiest way to navigate the many complicated dynamics that can compete for our time and energy during the holidays.

Setting up your pull: It’s always important to head into tarot pulls intentionally, but this one should especially take into account the space you’re taking up. Don’t just do this pull anywhere; pick a date, time, and place. Clear space, shuffle, and cut as usual. Cut one last time with your non-dominant hand and flip the cards in order from the top of your deck.

Take yourself on a little tarot date!

Card 1. The Head | Conscious Space

This card offers guidance on where your focus is needed. It will cue you into spots of helpfulness, challenge, and blind areas. Places that will be helpful for you to be aware of as you move through spaces where you might be constantly negotiating your boundaries.

Card 2. The (Left) Hand | Moonside Connection

This card will help with guidance on how to appropriately hold space for others.

Card 3. The (Right) Hand | Sunside Connection

This card will help with guidance on any action that would be helpful or necessary in connection to others.

Card 4. The (Left) Foot | Moon Grounding

This card honors your needs in the “being.” Reminders on how to hold safe space for yourself.

Card 5. The (Right) Foot | Sun Grounding

This card honors your needs in the “doing.” Helpful places of focus for any movement or action that would be helpful to you.

Card 6. The Heart of the Matter

Pull this card from the bottom of your deck. This card holds reminders for what agency you have in the interactions to come. Is there a helpful shift you can make in your perceptions? Can you take or give more space? Are you forgetting where you could be doing (or being) differently?

Since this spread has so many different facets and offers guidance on what we all need personally in the realms of being and doing, I’m going to keep it simple with just the spread this month. I encourage everyone who tries it to build practices that are particularly suited for them and their individual experiences with family dynamics.

However, just in case you need a little physical practice inspiration, I found this amazing Starfish Yoga pose tutorial. I highly suggest the inclusion of a onesie to lean into your starfish essence! Couple this with some deep breaths and it’s not a bad way to get you into the energy of your Starfish Spread pull – a physical manifestation of taking up space!

Sending you deep breaths for the upcoming months with arms wide open!



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  1. Kathryn Silverstein says:

    I always look forward to your Sunday Spread posts, Traci! This was a really interesting one for me: excepting the final card, each of my pulls were court cards. I wonder what this means…my first thought is that it’s the full energy of the suits and their associated elements making themselves known, that I really need to pay attention, that boundaries are an important concept for me. And good thing, too, because I’m taking Andi Grace’s Hawthorn Heart boundaries course for femmes right now!

    • Hey Kathryn, ditto for the apology I sent Alexis! I can’t tell you how happy that makes my heart! So happy to have you at this remote “Sunday Spread” every month! <3 That's so lovely that you're taking Andi's boundaries course, that's actually been on my wishlist for awhile as well! Ahhh… that last Heart of the Matter, it always seems to have a doozy of a message for us, I think sometimes while our work can be further along, lessons aren't linear and sometimes we have to circle back around for little loving reminders.

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