I recently shared a spread that I’d created for the last new moon.
I needed something to help me get a grip on the changes I was feeling inside me, and manifest my own turning point.
It turns out lots of you needed the very same thing. I’ve been overwhelmed by the response, in blog comments and personal emails, from folks who tried out the spread and got just what they need. Thank you so much for sharing this very intimate experience with me.
I did the spread myself, of course. Em and I spent a cosy, meditative evening talking about our own changes, our own transformations. I read tarot. Emma drew a beautiful poster of a howling wolf. I made a small collage, inspired by Claire’s moon boards.
I thought I’d share.
1. Fear. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Don’t be afraid. Bring it out, look it in the eye, accept it.
Father of Cups
It’s so hard to write about facing your fears in a public space. For me the Father of Cups warns me about emotional aloofness, thinking you ‘know yourself’, this urge I have to always be rationalising my feelings and explain them logically. I don’t want to become that person. I want to keep an open heart and a belief that I know so little about my soul and that all I can do is watch and feel and learn. This card represents my fear of not doing this, of not keeping in touch with this journey, of shutting off, as I know I have a tendency to do.
2. Hope. What are you longing for?
Nine of Pentacles
This, for me, is the ‘independent woman’ card. It’s about autonomy. And success! This is a person who has achieved plenty, are comfortable, are rich – whatever that might mean – and content. This is the result of hard work and being seriously practical. When I see this card I think about the kind of person I want to be. Someone who works hard and builds a solid, sustainable, beautiful life.
3. Transform. Integrate your hopes and fears into you, into your life.
Ten of Pentacles
By putting magic at the heart of everything I do. The Ten of Pentacles, for me, is about comfort and abundance, but points out that these things can’t be achieved without an appreciation for the magic in life. For the energy of the universe or the way the wind blows out cobwebs of how it feels when she holds you. In work, if the magic isn’t there the greatest pay in the world won’t bring about happiness. But when you’re working with that magic, earthy pentacle energy, that’s a vocation. That’s wholeness, embodied in real life.
For me there’s also a message here about returning to earth, to the soil, rocks, grass, the natural world I love and left behind. I’m having other thoughts right now about whether city life is what I really want (I moved from Yorkshire – think Wuthering Heights – a year ago). I love this city, but I’m not sure I can thrive here. I’m yearning to get my hands dirty again and work less on my computer. The Ten of Pentacles feels like it’s pulling me to do that.
4. Release. What must you now let go of, in order to do this work?
Eight of Wands
This constant need I have to package my experiences up into words or boxes so I can communicate them efficiently. Like that lightening bolt, I leap to quickly onto definitive statements about who I am, what I believe, what I’m offering. But what’s happening right now can’t be defined by that. Flow is what’s needed, not dynamic striking in this point or that. It’s okay not to know everything right now, and to really embody that kind of flow, I need to let go of this card’s demands.
5. Ground. Set your intention here.
Seven of Pentacles
This, for me is a card of pause. Of stocktaking. Of looking at progress so far in an objective way, looking practically at what is working and what needs a tweak. This is about celebrating the journey so far and looking at what can be learned, taking the time to do that reflection, before beginning to plan for the next chapter. Taking time to pause and reflect like this feels like a very grounding thing to do.
6. Create. Make your intention real. Demonstrate your commitment to yourself. Be brave.
Six of Swords
This reading is telling me to own my journey, to be proud of this transformation, even in the more painful or stuck moments. The way the figure (in the Rider Waite Smith version of this card) is carrying those swords in the boat with her – even though she’s about to make a new start – is inspiring. She owns those life-lessons, those tougher experiences. They make her who she is.
If I really want that sense of wholeness and solidity found in the Eight of Pentacles, I have some work to do. Letting go of my need to articulate and contain my emotional experiences is not helping me. The Seven offers me a chance to pause, to ground, to reflect. Confronting a representation of my fear – the emotional aloofness of the Father of Cups – is uncomfortable. But being pulled towards a more honest and grounded sense of myself, and allowing myself to transform along the way without needing to explain it, is powerful. I know it’s what I need. So I’m committing to this work.
I’m a 30-something writer, artist, tarot reader, and perpetual explorer of the space between thought, feeling, and action.
I believe that spirituality and ritual are for everybody. I’m about the journey, in all of its messy, non-linear, chaotic iterations. I am excited by anticapitalist business and living with my whole entire self present. I use tarot cards to bring forth hidden truth, and ritual to affirm my commitment, over and over, to my ever-shifting path.