And wow, it feels good.
In all my 33 years, I never understood the word ‘homesick’ or the concept of ‘missing’ a thing, a person, a place. Well, I do now.
I decided whilst in my little cabin to cut my ta-road trip in half and save part two for later. So much fun, so many people, so much movement… I was happy, but tired, and in need of a break.
In need of home, it turned out.
My new moon ritual helped me realise I’m not 25 any more, and release – with gratitude – the fiery younger me with whom I still identified. Letting her go was a relief. Unlike in my early 20s, I now have work that I’m passionate about doing, a home that I’m loving building, and a partnership that I am genuinely committed to. I could feel all of those things calling me, towards the end of my trip. I knew it was time to get back to them.
Meanwhile, here’s home.
I told Em I’d be back a little later than I actually was, so I could surprise her with a hotel room and a bath (long story – the short version is, we don’t have one on the boat so baths have become the ultimate luxury) and dinner out. A friend was in on the scheme and between us and the hotel receptionist we hatched a plan to have Em dropped off and sent to the room where I was waiting. She jumped 50 feet in the air, screamed and smashed a champagne glass, which I consider a sign of success 🙂
I didn’t bring the New York weather back with me (despite the warm spring days I’d enjoyed at the cabin, it was snowing as I left) and my first weekend back was sunny and bright. I bought a bike! We cycled the city. Planned a pot-garden, chopped wood, had a sunset picnic with our marina neighbours, did laundry, went to the market. It was low-key, cosy brilliant.
And now, I’m back in my studio with a head full of ideas (as usual) and a new go-easy approach to making (some of) them happen. Feet on the ground, head feeling clearer, happy to be home.
I’m a 30-something writer, artist, tarot reader, and perpetual explorer of the space between thought, feeling, and action.
I believe that spirituality and ritual are for everybody. I’m about the journey, in all of its messy, non-linear, chaotic iterations. I am excited by anticapitalist business and living with my whole entire self present. I use tarot cards to bring forth hidden truth, and ritual to affirm my commitment, over and over, to my ever-shifting path.