I’ve been avoiding this blog for a good while now, for a few reasons. The first was sensitivity – having just been through a break-up it didn’t feel right to carry on blabbing my feelings about life and the universe all over the internet (well okay, let’s not get above ourselves, I mean in some secret hidden corner of the web.)
Secondly I’ve been enjoying a period of absolute hedonism which has been completely awesome…but I’m exhausted! If I didn’t know before, I know it now, that I have a beautiful and hilarious bunch of friends who will see me through anything and make sure I emerge laughing and confident at the other end.
Lastly it’s that old beggar, procrastination. Week on week lately I’ve told myself – this week I’m going to *do something*. I’m going to write my blog, I’m going to write a poem, I’m going to sort the garden out, I’m going to finish this art, I’m going to go out with my camera. It all comes to nothing when my creative confidence is feeling rusty and shy and someone’s lent me yet another DVD box set to carry me through the post-pub-still-wakeful hours…just don’t get me started on Game of Thrones…
However, I can’t carry on like that. Brienne, Circe, and oh, my dear Khaleesi – it’s been a blast, but I need to get a life now. So it with a healed heart, a damaged liver and (hopefully) a renewed sense of purpose that I’m returning to Little Red this morning. So many topics have been running through my head lately, topics I’d love to explore through the cards. Forgiveness, friendship, lust, jealousy, confidence, nourishment, money, love. I don’t even know where to begin but I know that I’m ready to.
A card please! A card to spur me on. I’ll use the Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Piu Mun Law since it’s sitting so handily beside me. The Eight of Wands? Wonderful!
I love Law’s interpretation of this card. Here, it’s like the woman is sending her seeds out with care, but without control. She puts the energy in to send her ideas out into the world, it is her breath which begins their journey, and yet she trusts in the universe to help them on their way. She can’t know, at this point, where each seed will land, what fruit it might bear, whether it will fruit at all. That’s not the point. In sending forth her seeds she is sending out a message – I’m here, I’m inspired, I’m going to try things out, I’m going to live, I’m going to create. What is my message? What shape does my love take? If it’s true that we reap what we sow, at least in terms of the energy we send out into the world, then we are ultimately responsible for the energy which answers and surrounds us. If I want to move through the world in a loving way and feel the love of the universe coming back to me, then the onus is on me to get that ball rolling.
I’m a 30-something writer, artist, tarot reader, and perpetual explorer of the space between thought, feeling, and action.
I believe that spirituality and ritual are for everybody. I’m about the journey, in all of its messy, non-linear, chaotic iterations. I am excited by anticapitalist business and living with my whole entire self present. I use tarot cards to bring forth hidden truth, and ritual to affirm my commitment, over and over, to my ever-shifting path.