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15 comments

  1. I love this post. I’m a ritual/routine nerd who loves nothing more than hearing about how others do or don’t structure their days – especially fellow freelancers/solopreneurs, for whom self-motivation is a daily question.

    My favourite routines/rituals are similar to yours Sabrina. They’re interchangeable depending on weather/mood/body/money/who’s about/deadlines or work priorities, but I currently do at least one or two of the list below every day. Also I think it’s important to say, these are ideals. Sometimes our rituals and routines get totally derailed. Sometimes I’m fine with that, and sometimes it feels like my world is gonna come crashing down if I can’t claim the routine/ritual I was planning, y’know? (Especially the first one!)

    Early early mornings are precious to me. I get up between 6 and 7 and absolutely relish that peaceful time before anyone else is up. I do some very personal routines (oil pulling anyone?) and make my first coffee, open the back door whatever the weather, and, if neccessary/possible, free-write, make lists, pull a tarot card, plan my day. Then I’ll jump into my inbox and usually get it dealt with before the day really begins.

    Forage walk – I’ve developed a really lovely circuit around my home that can take 30 mins or 2 hours depending on what I find or become engrossed in. I always return with some lovely treasure to turn into art, magic or medicine.

    River swim – new routine for summer sunshine only! I’ve started going for regular lunchtime river swims (just about to go for one now!) BLISS. Here’s my fave spot:

    Spin class – 1-3 times per week I’ll do a morning spin at the leisure centre. It’s great after rising early, doing coffee and emails early, by 9.30 I’m super ready to go do 45 mins of full on cardio. Not always in the mood though!!

    Walk out for coffee – just as you’d describe – it gets me out of the house and into society. In the tiny town where I live (pop. 2000) there’s not a huge number of places with good coffee, but there are enough that I can choose – or sometimes I hope the train and go to a bigger town half an hour away.

    Post work drinks. Though I really value setting my own hours, sometimes it’s super nice to clock off when my employed friends do, and grab a pint or have a brew in the back yard when Em or my housemate comes home.

    Late night smoke. Well, not that late, I’m usually in bed by 10.30! But I love to sit out with a tea last thing before bed, smoke and look at the moon.

  2. Nico says:

    Wonderful ideas, thank you very much. As I’m not ready to spend so much money for overpriced coffee from shops (just my opinion), I think I could prepare one at home, pour it into a take away mug and have my stroll. This also feels better for me as I don’t want to produce so much disposable plastic. – Yes Beth, oil pulling also over here! My other rituals are 20 minutes of meditation, 15 minutes of exercise, and a walk in the evening in a small forest close by.

    • Buying Xanax says:

      HA no worries, my partner totally agrees with you about the “overpriced coffee” and that’s actually what inspired this column! I got a bit defensive and it inspired me to reflect about why exactly it is I cling so hard to this ritual, why it is SO meaningful to me, and how it has been so hard won.

      I think preparing coffee at home sounds like a great idea if that’s what feels best for you! Your evening forest walks sound so lovely

      xo

  3. Angharad says:

    This is such a beautiful reminder of the sacred in everyday things. My morning ritual is a spell of grounding in the yard, watching tiny dog scampering around and checking in with my plants while the bread is toasting & the coffee brewing. Spell in the sense of a length of time – but as it’s something I have to do anyway, I’ve learned that the magic of that moment is all in the way I approach it and open myself up to the experience 🙂

    And as for unlearning constant attention to other people and reclaiming space on your own terms – I hear you. I’m at the stage where I no longer reflexively get out of everybody’s way, but still have some way to go towards occupying the space I’m opening up for myself.

    • Buying Xanax says:

      Thank you for sharing this! I really love the double-meaning of ‘spell’ as ‘length of time’ and also ‘a little magic’ and it works so well here. 🙂 I am with you IRT the importance of approach and orientation – simple acts of opening up can make all the difference.

      I wish you all of the best vibes on the journey towards occupying more space – it really is a lifelong journey.

      xo

  4. Liz WM says:

    I really loved this. Thank you. ? I’ve been trying to think of new daily rituals for myself today, and your post really made me consider what I enjoy/savour rather than how I ‘should’ ritual.

  5. Laura says:

    I love this SO much. When I was younger (and often very depressed) I used to skip the day’s food to go out for a coffee despite being dead dead broke, because I needed those moments in atmosphere not my own, in a place not my home, but still surrounded by people, to disconnect from stress at home, feel part of the world and just be, and then try to write. I probably didn’t need it more than food, but I thought I did. I was paying for a lot more than just a coffee 🙂

    I now live with my partner who has an amazing coffee machine so I can get pretty great coffee at home but to me it fulfils a completely different function.

    I have a young kid now and any routine I try to have is constantly disrupted. That’s just what it is but I need to figure something out…this piece describes for me so eloquently how I used to use rituals of this kind to stay in touch with myself. I hadn’t realised till I read it how lost I feel without them. & because it’s so much harder to work without them and when I can’t work I’m miserable.
    Thanks for writing this, it really made me think.

  6. Laura says:

    Lovely.
    My daily rituals/routines are flexible too, and sometimes can’t happen or look differently depending on my strange irregular work schedule, but generally…

    -the slow morning – I like to take a good amount of time to make myself breakfast and a coffee (or two), then sit and relax while I have them. I’m really attached to this one and it’s the routine I feel most disrupted without. Often this is alone time, which I like starting my day with.
    -morning cards/journal – Generally, a few tarot and one or two oracle and a dice roll and a brief journal on the upcoming day. I’ll also usually write a few reflection sentences on the previous day too (if I didn’t do it in the evening).
    -outdoor time – Weather dependent, since sometimes it’s horribly cold where I live, but I try to get outside for a little bit any day I can. Preferably it’s a walk to the park to watch dogs swim, or a walk downtown for a pint, or sitting by the river, but often it’s just taking my coffee or a book on the deck for a while.
    -late night unplug – I try to ensure that whenever I plan to go to bed, I’ve got screens off and my work put away an hour before that. I sleep better, and this is more quiet time where I can either fit in things I don’t always make time for (reading work-unrelated books, etc) or just give myself extra sleep time.

  7. Michelle says:

    I have a gaiwan tea set I use for tea ceremonies that I’d pull out when friends are over, or on a particularly luxurious weekend where I felt like I could sit and do nothing but have tea for a while. About two months ago, I started using it every day. It doesn’t slow down my caffeine process by as much as I’d feared- having to refill a small cup doesn’t interrupt my work that much-and the added ritual and forced reflective time it brings to my mornings has quickly become sacred. It’s got me thinking about what other parts of my day I should pay more attention to- maybe brushing my teeth?

  8. Hi, Sabrina and the rest. I completely agree with you. As coping with disability as well, these little things of life get much more importance and make me feel better and go off these thinkings that living in a so limited way isn’t worthy… In this moment, I´m enjoying a lot with doing some soap batches. It ‘s a ritual I do from time to time, but this time it is taking me one week! (in a local natural shop they have sold the ones I let there, and people is asking for more!! :-)) I put on music, prepare all the things quietly, and let me fly enjoying the textures, the semelles, the alchemy it is produced… All my senses are engaged into in, and I feel naturally well, in the moment. Time goes by without noticing it, and I feel that intoxicating scent of essential oils that gives me a big pleasure. When I finish, I feel tired, but as happy as can be. Have a nice day all of you. A big hug from Spain

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