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8 comments

  1. This is so well written and informative. Having been through an emotionally abusive relationship where any boundary setting was treated like I was a bad person, it has been really hard for me to figure out how to do it in a healthy way. But reading this has really put a number of things in perspective– I know I can ask for my boundaries to be respected but also I need to (deserve to!) enforce them and not feel guilty.

    • Andi Grace says:

      i feel what you are saying so deeply. i was also in an emotionally abusive relationship where i was accused of abandoning someone for having boundaries. it’s so hard! and it hurts. and i think these practices, while they don’t have conflict go away they do make it easier to navigate with safety and integrity so you can at least feel solid in yourself.

  2. So much wisdom here. Like many folks I’ve struggled with boundaries (creating, maintaining, respecting other people’s, too). This piece is both compassionate and no-bullshit, which is the kind of advice we need.

    • Andi Grace says:

      i feel everything you are saying here, totally <3 i struggle with all those things too. i think we all do!

  3. This is wonderful and something I needed, not only to validate my past attempts at walking away or placing a limit, but also in the encouragement to keep at it so that I can be a better friend and companion. Thank you!

    • Andi Grace says:

      thank you for saying this. it feels good to know the work is resonating with folks. i’ve lost a lot of freindships and connections as i started setting better boundaries and it can feel lonely, but know the people around me love and see and support me. so it feels good to know the work resonates more broadly. <3

  4. Chickie says:

    How do you handle explaining your experiences when someone else might not clearly have “more” or “less” privilege? I am having trouble with the very linear way people describe privilege, when in reality it is rarely that clear.

  5. Nia T says:

    This expresses the kind of straightforward, firm but kind guidance for life that I wish more of us got as we were growing up, and it’s simultaneously so validating and non-shaming of the experience of being on both sides of the ineffective boundaries issue. Such challenging territory, so beautifully and constructively explored. Also very timely for me personally, thank you so very much.

Comments are closed.