Fat Tarot | The witchy fat body: Embodying the High Priestess

My shoulders are tense
The muscles are sore
It sometimes feels that way
Carrying the weight of the world
The secrets
The traumas
The whispers that went through centuries
The ancestors who don’t know yet how to communicate
Me, as an ancestor, with no clue how to pass on knowledge
How to channel energies
Instead of storing them
How to release and not intoxicate

That weight crawls through my shoulders and neck
It sends signals though my arms
Then, the clenched fist
Heavy from its strong grip on the pen
Its restrained rage on the keyboard
Sends tensions in return
The shoulders become conflicts

This Seer feels too much
They don’t know how to write it down
All is perception

During years and years
I had a compulsive automatic writing process
I didn’t feel like it was a medium thing
I didn’t understand most of what I wrote
I just knew my subconscious was full of stories and voices
That needed to come out

Until I couldn’t afford to keep on writing anymore
Until my writing fascination isolated me so much I couldn’t stand it anymore
Until I started to get more present in the process as well
Too present for the words to flow

Then, as I wrote less often
My hand turned into a tension locus
A knot

The Seer’s posture on the card
Implies a great deal of concentration
It locates on their shoulders
Yet, it seems effortless

Sometimes I sit in the dark
Four of cups
I contemplate
I move through the night
And I let it all come through
With quietness
I feel isolated

I am
I need to
If I don’t, too many messages meet
They buzz, they occupy my shoulders, my neck, my head, my jaws
When I sit in the night
When I lie in the bath
It flows
The colours, the stars, the water, the wisdom, the nonsense
The screams, the songs
Then, I feel whole
When I don’t try to separate things
Me, voices, energies, skin, muscles, stars, lives, beings
The tensions flow
The Star

I am the star, you are the star, we are the star, they are the star.

Images via: Alice Impellizzeri
Deck featured: Thea’s Tarot

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