So.

Yeah.

What’s happening?

• Strength
• The High Priestess

An interesting reading.

A major reading, small though it was.

Four out of five? Whooosh. So I’m composed? Thank you, dear cards, for the reassurance.

The beast sits calmly, knowing stillness is right for now. Is it a struggle to keep her this way? Hell yeah. But my inner guide, my High Priestess, she’s there, wagging a silent, invisible finger when I feel I might…  She keeps me passive, holding things quiet inside. Being unreachable? Keeping a safe distance. Or simply allowing time for the real nature of things to become clear.

I feel both safe and vulnerable together.

Safe because I know I am loved and held. Vulnerable because I love and hold and am confused. *I see neon lights whenever you walk by* Vulnerable because I’ve hurt myself before, because I know things now that I didn’t before, when I threw my heart around like a cricket ball, and the hearts of others too, excited to learn what would happen when it collided with this and that. Strength and the High Priestess were not cards I pulled then. But now.

*Don’t get me wrong,
if you say hello
and I take a ride
upon a sea where the mystic moon
is playing havoc with the tide*

 

So what am I to do?

• Ten of Cups 
• Temperance 
• The Chariot

Again, it’s all about control, about calm, about balance.

The Ten tells me to prioritise my emotional happiness. This card is all about security – in this deck it’s a security I neither want nor need, but in others it represents the safety I crave, that which we all really need – to be loved by our friends, to feel love for them, to know where we want to be in life and to feel we are going there, that we are achieving it in stages.

Is this part of that journey? Of course it is.

Temperance and The Chariot confirm the path I’m taking. More of Strength’s quiet control, and here, it’s empowering me. Making magic, bringing just the right amount of this element of myself or that into play. Not allowing one part to rule, but bringing all of myself to the table. It feels amazing as I’m doing this, and though I’m vulnerable, I don’t feel scared. Probably because The Chariot is on my side. That said, The Chariot usually does give me some cause for worry. She seems so rigid that I often wonder what is being sacrificed for her steadfast single-minded straight ahead. Still, I will maintain focus.

I find myself in the position of loving where I am, and feeling unable to resist knowing what the future holds. At the same time as resisting offering my heart in order to find this out, I feel scared – scared of losing what’s so wonderful about *right now*. This reading keeps me on track, keeps me in the moment, paying attention, keeping calm, feeling deeply. It feels really good. Strength and The High Priestess? I feel like I’m doing okay.

*Suddenly thunder
showers everywhere,
but who can explain the thunder and rain?
There’s something in the air*

Don’t Get Me Wrong, by the Pretenders, 1986

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